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Why I Don’t Have Any Friends

· depression,loneliness,friendship,broken,chat

It’s almost 3:30pm in the afternoon, and my body is itching to get back on the road. All I can seem to think of is my ride back home, how fast I’m going to tackle that hill climb, who’s time record I’ll beat, etc. Ever since I started cycling to work, I’ve viewed it as an excuse to introspect, be alone, and away detach myself from all distractions. However, at the end of every ride, I felt the need to snap a picture and share it on social media, as if to invite people to celebrate my loneliness with me.

Ironic, isn’t it? The very activity I indulge in to detach myself, ends up becoming my plea for approval and affirmation. What’s sad is that the people that end up liking my post are people I rarely ever really interact with outside of my mobile phone screen, and yet I still crave their approval.

Somewhere along the way, I got it all wrong. Life became less about loving people and sharing memories with them and more about me, and how I was catering to my needs.

broken image

We as a society are constantly bombarded with messages that promote individuality. So much of advertising now days focuses on “me and my needs and desires” and rarely ever presents us with a message that tells us that the world doesn’t revolve around us. Combine this with social media and the nature of social media interaction, and you have a society of people who care more about online interactions (likes, follows, comments, etc) than physical ones.

Lady Gaga, in an interview with Jimmy Kimmel, said “Social Media is the toilet of the internet”. While it might not be entirely true, social media has, in some way, caused us to loose touch with the people around us.

However, I didn’t loose the desire to have real and meaningful connections with people, I just forgot how to go about having them. I expected people to somehow perceive that I was lonely, and then reach out to me. I thought to myself, “I mean come on, I’m the one who’s lonely, people should be reaching out to me”. And……Therein lay the fundamental cause of my loneliness — I wasn’t reaching out to people. What can we(you) do about it?

  1. Reach out/Speak out

Don't just tap on your phone screen, maybe call them? I know its not as easy as it sounds, but it isn’t supposed to be. It’s supposed to take time. All relationships of value have lots and lots of time backing them up. It really doesn’t help, if the people around you are unaware that you are longing for deep and meaningful friendships.

It’s a leap of faith in many ways. It means that you’re going to have to step out of your comfort zone interact with people. These interactions will have to be personal and meaningful, not riddled by the unrealistic expectations of social media. Genuine relationships are messy, emotional, and dramatic. They will come with disagreements, and fights but it’s these friendships that will end up lasting a lifetime.

Make memories and share experiences with people because chances are those are what you’ll remember ten years down the relationship.

In fact, we have a community on here for people like you. If you need a place to share your thoughts honestly and openly without feeling judged. Drop in a message, you’ll be surprised by the love and encouragement that can be found by simply speaking out.

2. Find People Like You

There are numerous communities that cater to people with similar interests. Find one, and ease your way into being a part of it. These “interests” can be a hobby, a sport, or even a church community. Meet with this group of people on a regular basis, consistently interacting them. Over time, you’ll find people within this group you can genuinely connect and share with.

3. Be Positive

Yeah, it sucks… and it’s so easy for us to get weighed down by one unsuccessful and awkward interaction with someone(or a group of people). However, believe the best about people and always be willing to give them a chance. Don't let negativity get the best of you. Hang in there, because your life isn’t going to change over night — and it shouldn’t. Friendships that last a lifetime, are ones that have the work put into them. If you want to connect with us, then drop us a message HERE & we're ready to chat :)